I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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