One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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