Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
