the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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