It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I don't deserve a penis
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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