nut hugger
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
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