Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
