Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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