i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
