You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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