Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
