everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
