Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
