my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
