so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
the day after is always just damage control
Sacagawea was the original milf.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
