Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
