SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
