I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
