I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
