Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
