How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
