My nipple is on Facebook.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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