Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Randomize
