Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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