I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
