apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Randomize
