Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
