My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
