I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
