Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
