Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
