do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
