you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize