Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
