I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
