I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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