there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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