i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
