Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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