That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
