it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
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