He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
My bed smells like the plague
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
