yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
