What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
