I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
