dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
