I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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