I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
