Can i not drive my cunt home
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
