so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
