Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
