It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
