its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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