So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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