I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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