I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize