I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
