You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize