Buhtt sex?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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