it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize