If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
