Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
