My room smells like vodka and shame
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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